a.k.a. affability, congeniality, being easygoing

Some people want to be agreeable and just don’t have a good idea what kind of vibe they’re putting out (e.g. the awkward). Other people developed disagreeableness as a strategy for keeping frightening people at bay (e.g. the gruff). And others are disagreeable as a side effect of other things they’re pursuing (e.g. the asshole). With such variety (and this is just off the top of my head), I’m guessing there will probably also be a variety of strategies to pursue in the course of becoming more agreeable. It may require a lot of work just to identify what’s causing your deficits in the first place before you start working on them.

Complementary virtues¶

• conversational competence
• friendliness
• niceness (seems to have more of an active component)
• tact

Contrasting vices¶

• awkwardness
• brusqueness
• churlishness
• contentious
• disagreeable
• discordance
• disputatious
• fawning (vice of excess)
• flattering (vice of excess)
• grouchiness
• gruffness
• being ill-natured
• obnoxiousness
• obsequious (vice of excess)
• querulousness
• being a shit-stirrer
• being snappy
• being surly

Virtues possibly in tension¶

• assertiveness
• candor
• righteous anger
• sincerity

How to acquire or strengthen it¶

TBD

Notes and links¶

• Notes on Amiability (David, LessWrong)

So you aren’t particularly agreeable? Maybe you can use that to your advantage rather than looking on it as a weakness. Consider:

Mentioned elsewhere¶

TBD

Inspirational quotes¶

TBD