hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
ahem, excuse me
can i have the attention of the class
for one second?
hi kids, do you like linus?
wanna see microsoft sue everyone
for suse patent non-compliance?
wanna rewrite unix like i did?
or use mono and screw it up worse than sony’s rootkits?
a gui’s dead weight, my kernel’s another year late
but i can’t figure out which emacs virgin i wanna impregnate
and bruce perens said, “rms you’re a base dev”
uh, uhh- “you should take it easy, busybox was cut and pasted”
well, since age twelve, i’ve been a level-1000 elf
in d & d with pointy shoes and a leathercraft renn faire belt
i got pissed off when the gnu project was ripped off
now eric s. raymond insists only he can diss microsoft
i sit on the grass at mit on my ass
coding faster than jolie in hackers when she rips her brassiere clasp (c’mere)
(“richard, wait a minute, that’s my girl dog”)
i don’t give a fsck, bruce perens sent me to piss the world off
hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
i wanted to flunk my physics teacher in junior high
i was bored, i solved the last physics problem when i was five
then i smacked billy gates with a ruler, chased him through the school and
stapled his little clippy to a big stack of eula’s
walked in the computer club, had my sweater zipped up
folk danced to something eastern and bought lunch from the tip cup
extracurricular writin’ drivers for peripherals
while some sellout jackass hands me some useless proprietary bull
ninety-three-point-one-two-five percent of my life i was lied to
i just found out steve jobs uses more free software than i do
i told his mom i’d grow up to be a famous hacker
write a free os someday and name it after her
before the kernel everyone would rush the stands
and try to touch my hands like some justin bieber fans
but this guy had the bombast to ask to have his penguin autographed
so i signed it “dear david, it’s **GNU**/linux- you ASS!!!”
hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
don’t subjugate! iphone needs to be unlocked today
bruce perens, don’t just stand there, negotiate
i’m not down with non-free, i’d rather use vi
i’ll have to be dragged off to cupertino before they brand me with “i”
am i codin’ or preachin’? i can barely decide
i just drank eighty-seven coffees, dare me to drive?
all my life i was very deprived
slim shady already wrote this one line better than i’d
my clothes had slogans like you’d see on car bumpers
but now they’re more muted like a college professor’s
some people gawk as i spit when i balk
at “intellectual property”- such nonsense gives me fits
how “intellectual” would it be
if the net ceased to exist?
i don’t get how people think drm is good
that kind of “protection” can only shoot you in the foot
yeah, i’m steamin’ mad
and by the way you know the ipad?
i threw every single one off a cliff in this dream i had
hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
hi, my name is
what?
my name is
who?
my name is (g-n gn-) gnu/linux
(a parody of “my name is” by marshall mathers/slim shady)
license: cc0 creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0
